Your tits are I can't wait for
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
