i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
