Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
