I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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