He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
