you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
