Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
