So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Jerry, you need to find god
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
