That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
