How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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