Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
