can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
