I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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