Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
