I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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