Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
