Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
