The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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