does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
