U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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