Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
