I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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