I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
