It's Friday. Sex?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
im holly from the hills drunk
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
