Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
