I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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