11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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