Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
