Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
