Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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