Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Randomize
