He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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