Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just google imaged poop.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
