You made me cry and you don't even care
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
