She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Randomize
