some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
