He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So many bounce houses so little time
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
