He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i drank out of a bidet.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
