I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize