I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
