if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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