do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
