there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
