I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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