hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
