I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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