how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
