Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
