just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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