Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
