you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
