yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My vagina just recognized that song.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
