Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
