dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
