Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Enjoy the penises
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
