He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
