I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
