WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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