Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She's the barista slut.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
