I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
