STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
