Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
