hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
